It’ll snow on the Sahara before we apologise to a Muslim, pledges Daily Mail

author avatar by 7 years ago
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Katie Hopkins has boldly claimed that it’ll be a cold day in the Sahara before she apologises to any Musli- oh, shit.

Hopkins, who described the Mahmood family of Birmingham as terrorists without any evidence whatsoever, made the bold claim that snow would lie over the Sahara desert before she retracted her accusation and made a grovelling apology in print.

After a thick fall of snow blanketed the desert overnight, Scientists asked to explain the phenomenon suggested that Hopkins is such an anathema to both God and nature that both have suspended normal operation to fuck her over.

When asked if they were expecting any long term effects from the snowfall, they confirmed that they had observed a permanent increase of pressure in the dangerously throbbing vein just above her temple.

“We’re…really…really…sorry…”, a spokesman for the Daily Mail said in a delighted, spontaneous and generous acknowledgement of their fault at 2am.

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“Here’s…a…cheque…for…a…hundred…and…fifty…grand.”

“Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks,” they added.

“Still, If there’s one good thing about this, we can run pictures of the snowfall on the desert and say that proves there’s no such thing as Global Warming.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)