Italy votes for Germany to pay for everything

author avatar by 8 years ago

In a landmark referendum result in Rome, the Italian people have voted overwhelmingly for the Germans to keep giving them colossal piles of money.

The referendum, which would have allowed Italy to change its Byzantine constitution and enabled significant political and economic reforms, was rejected by voters fearful it might result in them having to do some work.

“This is a victory for democracy, anti-austerity, and spending a whole shitload of someone else’s money,” said a jubilant activist celebrating at the Colosseum.

“Now we’ve voted for it, it’s only a matter of time before the Deutsche Finance Ministry wises up and pays off all our debt.”

When asked what the Germans might think of this, leader of the anti-austerity Five Star Party Beppe Grillo said, “Dunno, we’ve not told them yet.

NewsThump Hoodies

“But we’re sure they won’t mind. They’ve coughed up so far, so we reckon they’re good for it.”

Some economists have suggested that Italy doesn’t have any money because nobody has bothered paying any tax for the ten or fifteen years, but these concerns cut no ice amongst ordinary Italians.

“We’ve got to get away from the old arguments about who did what and who is to blame in order to move forward with our exciting plans,” said Grillo said.

“But if it doesn’t work it’ll all be Angela Merkel’s fault.”

NewsThump Hoodies