Thursday 1 December 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Theresa May had plan for school-age children of illegal immigrants to be ‘cooked and eaten’

Theresa May to eat children of illegal immigrants

Leaked cabinet letters suggest that while Home Secretary Theresa May wanted the children of illegal immigrants to be removed from school and cooked and served to her for lunch on Fridays as a special treat.

The Home Office wanted schools to be responsible for immigration checks and the recommendation of particular plump and tasty looking pupils.

The government said it would not comment on leaked documents, but added that it was right to offer ministers a variety of lunches.

By law, children under 16 have the right to an education and to not be eaten, whatever their parents’ circumstances.

Initially there was disquiet in Government at the plans, but most ministers are said to have warmed to the idea when the Home Office pointed out that the children would be roasted in a delightful Port reduction and served with dauphinoise potatoes and seasonal vegetables.

Since becoming Prime Minister, Mrs May appears to have accepted that she cannot be seen to be dining on the flesh of children; migrants or not, and has put the plans on hold.

It is understood that her Friday lunchtime treat remains a cage full of small birds and rodents that she toys with and then swallows whole.

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