Tuesday 29 November 2016

‘Having cake and eating it’ better not refer to that foreign soufflé muck, insists Brexiter

Victoria Sponge for Brexit

The cake that government officials want to have and eat had better be a nice British Victoria sponge and none of that foreign muck, according to leading Brexiters this morning.

Following news that a key strategy of the Brexit negotiation team is to both have, and eat, their cake, there are concerns that the cake in question might be something a bit European-sounding.

Leave.EU spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “I’ve heard of a thing called a ‘Sachertorte’, which sounds horrifically multicultural. Our negotiating team better not be having any of it.

“I tried soufflé once, and God only knows why anyone would want to eat it again. Just like Johnny Foreigner the bloody thing folded at the first sign of things not going its way. Not a sodding British thing about it.

“Look, everyone knows that cakes are made of sponge, not brown sponge, the good almost-white stuff.

“A little bit of cream – nothing chocolate – and maybe a bit of good old-fashioned English jam. That’s it. Nothing else.

“And they should be named after our Royal family, obviously. Gawd bless’em.”

Williams then choked on his tea after being told about a box of Profiteroles in the Leave.EU fridge.

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt now

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