Monday 28 November 2016

UKIP elects Paul Nuttall as new person to go on and on about immigration

Paul Nuttall UKIP leader

UKIP has elected Paul Nuttall as the new leader responsible for going on and on about immigration at every possible opportunity.

Nuttall took to the stage in front of a standing ovation from those members of the audience fortunate enough to not suffer from a dicky hip, and told everyone he was overjoyed to follow Nigel Farage.

“This is a great honour,” Nuttall told a rapturous members meeting.

“Oh, and immigration, borders, control, immigrants, Brexit!” he added to cheers from the crowds.

“I want to say to all UKIP supporters, wherever you are, immigration, borders, immigrants, asylum seekers, foreign aid, the establishment, British values, secure our borders!

“And let me remind you all, and those who oppose us, country’s full, immigrants, eurocrats, remainiacs, BRITISH PASSPORT!”

Nuttall then stood and calmly accepted a second, fifteen-minute standing ovation.

Supporters have welcomed the appointment, with long-time UKIP voter Harold Williams, 68, telling us, “He’s saying all the right things, just what I want to hear from our new leader.

“I listen to him speak, and it’s like he’s using the thoughts from inside my brain space.

“Immigrants, borders, British Passport, immigrants and immigrants – all the important stuff.

“I think he’ll do a brilliant job.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt!

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