Theresa May accidentally spent 45 minutes discussing military cooperation with Downing St’s Polish cleaner

author avatar by 8 years ago

Prime Minister Theresa May today spent forty-five minutes discussing military cooperation with a Polish cleaner who just wanted to put the bins out, according to reports.

An hour before the arrival of Polish prime minister Beata Szydlo, Mrs May mistook her for Downing Street cleaner Brygida Szymański and went on to discuss at length military operations and ways to monitor Russian activity in the region to the bemused domestic assistant.

As one Downing Street source explained, “International diplomacy at this level is new to Theresa, and you could say it’s an easy mistake to make, perhaps.

“Though when the Brygida asked about the oven, Theresa thought it was just an analogy about the political cauldron created by the rise of the right in Europe.

“It got a bit awkward when Brydiga suggest a powerful cleaner was needed and Theresa thought she was being asked to approve of some ethnic cleansing.

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“Fortunately it began to wrap up when a clearly agitated Brygida said ‘ok, but we must make bed now’, and Theresa merely nodded sagely before adding, ‘yes, and then we must lie in it – that is so true. So true.’.

“We thought the worst of it had passed, until Szydlo actually arrived and Theresa’s husband told her to pay special attention to the toilets this week.”