US President-elect Donald Trump is expected to announce a UK cabinet reshuffle in the next few days.
The reshuffle, which could see Nigel Farage, Katie Hopkins and a bloke down the pub handed cabinet positions, will come as a blow to current UK prime minister Theresa May.
Trump, who also revealed plans to turn Cumbria into a golf course and Norfolk into a casino, promised that the new cabinet would be “very outstanding”.
“I will make the United Kingdom of America great again,” he said.
“England, Scotchland, Welshire and the North Island will be absolutely successful. It will be very amazing. Wow!”
Nigel Farage revealed that he was delighted with Donald Trump’s intervention.
“Donald Trump interfering in UK affairs and putting pressure on the prime minister is absolutely fine if it gets me a job,” he said.
“Anyone who thinks that makes me a hypocrite, a conman and an utter cunt is part of the establishment elite who live in a Westminster smear bubble.
“I’d also like to point out that the Electoral Commission have opened investigations into UKIP misspending EU money because they are bubble smears who live in an elite Westminster establishment.
In fact, anyone who shines a light on me or UKIP is an elite Westminster bubble who lives in an establishment smear.