Would-be Ambassador Farage asks EU parliament for character reference

author avatar by 7 years ago

Nigel Farage is hopeful that a glowing character reference from the guys in Brussels will clinch him the US Ambassador job.

The former non-racist UKIP leader has been asked by President-elect, Donald Trump, to provide three good character references from somebody who isn’t a member of, or donor to, UKIP.

Trump’s spokesman Simon Williams said, “The reference should be from someone who has worked closely with Nigel on a daily basis for more than ten years and who isn’t already married to him.

“We’re looking for written evidence of Nigel’s willingness to overcome difficulties and work with others in a harmonious way, irrespective of gender, race or creed – although those last three are not that important, obviously.

“We’ll also check things like his attendance – for things like crucial parliamentary votes.

“It’s just a formality, really.”

Farage, meanwhile, insists he is a ‘shoe-in’ for the role after describing himself on his CV as a ‘proactive self-starter who thrives under pressure – from immigration’.

But former EU parliamentary colleague Herman van Rompuy said, “I’m afraid it is above my pay grade to provide Mr Farage with a reference as, to use his words, I am little more than a jumped-up bank clerk with the charisma of a damp rag.”