Prince Philip could save the taxpayer a few quid if he learned how to pick up a paint brush like the rest of us, it has emerged this afternoon.
With a renovations bill running at £369m, keen DIYer Simon Williams reckons he could do the job for about two-grand.
He explained, “I’m not being funny, but get yourself down to B&Q and pick a few bits, check out a few Youtube tutorials and Bob’s yer uncle. Or Stavros or whatever Phil’s uncle is called.
“Sure, there’s a learning curve, but £369m for some new plug sockets and a lick of paint? Someone is seriously taking the piss.
“Set aside a couple of hours after work each night, and one day every weekend with a couple of ‘painting parties’ for friends and relatives and I bet he’d have it all done by spring. Trust me, I know how this works.
“Of course, his missus will then complain he’s done a bodge job when he has to fill all the holes he’s accidentally made, but that’s a right of passage all men must endure.”
When asked about the possibility of undertaking some DIY around the place, Prince Philip said, “That sounds utterly ghastly, I think I’d rather get an Indian in to do it.”