Dog owners urged to keep pets inside during firework displays in case Michael Heseltine attends

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Animal charities are urging dog owners to keep their pets inside during firework displays this week, on the off-chance the Michael Heseltine might choose to attend one.

Experts claim that fireworks displays can be extremely distressing for dogs, with the noises bright lights and risk of strangulation from aging Tories.

Dog lover Dave Matthews told us, “I like fireworks as much as the next man, but the risk of meeting Michael Heseltine in the dark is too high – it’s just not worth it.

“Sure, I’d like to see the display the local council has put on, but what if Benjy were to find himself strangled by another spectator who used to be a Tory Deputy Prime Minister? I’d never forgive myself.”

RSPCA Spokesperson Simon Williams said that this time of year can be difficult for dogs and their owners, adding that the increased risk of Heseltine has only made matters worse.

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He explained, “Our advice would be to stay at home, close the curtains and keep your dog occupied, if you can.

“But if you absolutely must go and see the fireworks, please be on the lookout for people who look like they might have spent a large part of their career sat opposite Margaret Thatcher; if you see one, take your dog home immediately.”