West Ham finally kicks off hooligan season at new stadium

author avatar by 7 years ago

West Ham bosses and supporters alike are celebrating after decisively getting their fighting season underway as home fans defeated Chelsea fans in a violent brawl following the host’s 2-1 victory on Wednesday evening.

As the final whistle blew on the football game at the Hammers’ new and imaginatively named London Stadium, the first insults and punches were already being thrown between fans, with the brutality ebbing down after an hour, with police making seven arrests.

Claiming the victory both on the pitch and in the now blood-soaked seats, West Ham spokesperson Simon Williams told reporters, “It has taken us a while to settle in and find our feet in the new ground, but we’re relieved to finally christen it with our trademark hooliganism.”

He continued, “We’re hoping this will signal a return to the club’s glorious years in the seventies and eighties, where we were known not for our football prowess on the pitch, but for the proud and manic bloodlust that only West Ham fans can bring to the game.

“It was a fight enjoyed by all, and I just hope the action on the pitch didn’t provide too much of a distraction to those on the terraces.”