Brexit in doubt as leaked tapes reveal Theresa May ordering continental breakfast in French

author avatar by 7 years ago

Leaked tapes of Teresa May ordering a continental breakfast in school-level French mean that Brexit is all but dead in the water.

May was attending an EU summit in Paris, when she requested a “breakfast” consisting of baguettes, cheese and pro-European marmalade, which is low on good cholesterol and essential grease.

“Du pain et du fromage pour moi, s’il vous plait,” said May in a blatant snub to her proud English

“Aussi, les croissants et la buerre. Et maintenant garcon,” she added, as if that were somehow natural.

May was then filmed breaking a croissant apart at its seams with considerable dexterity, suggesting she has no intention of triggering Article 50.

Political analyst, Simon Williams, said, “It’s either no Brexit or a Brexit as soft as the stinking cheese she used to garnish her croissant.”

The outrageous footage suggests May would be more at home discussing Jean-Paul Sartre in a smoke-filled café on the Champs Elysees than looking after the interests of the English working class.

Yesterday, May added insult to injury by visiting an Audi factory in Wolfsburg, where she addressed plant foreman, Gerhard Fotze, in German.

“Guten Tag,” she said, betraying the fifty-two percent who voted to leave.

“Wie geht’s Ihnen?”