Selfish refugees are voicing displeasure at the idea of settling in a country that has worked hard to ban bits of their culture.
The Calais jungle has now been demolished and most of the former residents have accepted their lot and swarmed off to various bits of France.
“But some of them are still shooting for Britain,” said French resident, Simon Le Williams.
“I don’t understand why; it’s not like France isn’t brilliant, unless you fancy wearing a burkha on the beach, but then why would you? It’s a silly piece of clothing and the beach is for tits and arse – or, as we say in France, ‘la tits et la arse’.
“Still, this is exactly what I’ve come to expect from the Muslims. Along with each and every one of them being dangerous terrorists who shouldn’t be allowed on public transport.”
Refugee, Jay Cooper, said, “I’d just like to go somewhere where most people might not automatically hate me.
“I mean I’ve heard that a lot of people in Britain will hate me automatically too, but they haven’t got around to starting to make laws to back up that hatred yet, so it’s still preferable.”