United Nations sends peacekeeping force to Emmerdale

author avatar by 8 years ago

The UN has finally responded to the ongoing carnage and tragedy in Emmerdale, North Yorkshire.

A multinational force has moved to secure strategic points around the sleepy hamlet whose death toll has recently been described as ‘catastrophic’.

It is hoped the intervention will stem the steady flow of refugees over the Pennines to the Manchester suburb of Weatherfield where a recent report warned of squalid and hellish conditions.

“The actions of Emmerdale dictator Emma Barton are unjustifiable, and we’re calling for a widening of intervention to prevent her actions causing more suffering,” Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon told the assembly.

“Law and order has effectively broken down in the entire region west of Leeds, resulting in shootings and multiple air-incidents.

NewsThump Best sellers

“This body must move to stem the violence and restore peace.

“Katie Sugden, Ruby Haswell, Val Pollard, Tess Harris, Gemma Andrews, Gary North…how much longer must the roll call of the dead get before the world says ‘no more!'”

Troops have already become embroiled in the ongoing situation after getting involved in a shootout outside the Woolpack, and a seedy love triangle between Debbie Dingle and David Metcalfe.

However, UN action is not unilaterally supported as Russian Premier Vladimir Putin insisted his ‘dear friend’ Emma is only acting to secure her legitimate interests.