Wednesday 19 October 2016 by Neil Tollfree

New Government think-tank created to set out which minority group to scapegoat next

Government scapegoat

Prime Minister Theresa May has created a new think tank which will be dedicated to finding a new minority group to blame for the Tories’ inability to run a country.

“The problem that we’ve had is that Brexit has been too successful,” explained a Government insider.

“Over the past six years, we’ve just implied that immigrants were to blame for most people’s decreased living standards, a situation that was actually brought about by our ludicrous ‘austerity’ nonsense.

“The Daily Mail has run with that and put this image in most people’s heads of immigrants as mad-eyed paedophiles with bombs strapped to their face who want to move their family of 94 into your shed and radicalise the dog.

“Now, if Brexit puts a stop to unchecked immigration, we’re going to need another group of people to blame for the fact that the only people who’ve done well out of this country under a Tory Government are all called Tarquin.”

The think tank will be made up of senior Tories, Daily Mail ‘reporters,’ total bastards, and Satan.

It is expected the think tank will initially focus on the viability of scapegoating either nurses, cats, smurfs, former members of Bucks Fizz, or the population of Chelmsford.

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