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The world has entered a new era where it has become impossible to distinguish between satire and reality, historians have confirmed.
Stories written by online piss-takers have been found to be coming true at an ever-increasing rate, assuming they weren’t already, leading to some theorising we could reach a piss taking/ reality singularity by 2018.
At a conference in Geneva, leading historians confirmed the death of David Bowie will formally mark the beginning of the new epoch, although signs of the change had been visible before.
“The role of Internet fuckwittery has gone from reactive to predictive,” said historian Simon Williams, who himself has only existed since a sort-of popular joke news website received its first letter of complaint from someone of the same name in 2010.
“If a merry online japester makes up something utterly outrageous and unbelievable about, say, Donald Trump or Vladimir Putin the odds are now 50/50 that it will come true within 48 hours.
“We can trace this to what we call the Corbyn/Farage event, when reality stopped being something you interact with and became something you stared at in silent, despairing disbelief wondering if it’s all some kind of horrid joke.
“To which the answer is both yes and no, by the way.”
To deal with the new era of human civilisation, The UN has appealed to Internet joke-writers not jeopardise things by writing gags about World War Three, and instead stick to positive outcomes such as the author of this piece winning the lottery or Piers Morgan being hit by a tram.
