The BBC has revealed more details of this year’s Dr Who Christmas Special, describing it as ‘whimsical, uplifting and arse-clenchingly twee’.
The Special has been a fixture of festive programming for a decade and has brought heartwarming, mawkish tales people for around the world to be emotionally numbed by.
A spokesman for the BBC described this year’s special as a ‘delightful confection of magical realism where – for one day a year – the Doctor makes sure dreams really can come true’, before bursting into tears and saying he just couldn’t do this anymore.
Producers promised the special would include an 8-second cameo from an increasingly devalued classic villain before introducing the main plot, a hamfisted allegory about some sort of space gecko that wants to overcome prejudice and marry its toaster.
“The Christmas Special is a tradition, like sprouts. You always hope it’s not going to be as bad as you remember and you’re always wrong,” said showrunner Stephen Moffat.
“And this year we’re delighted to announce it will be so saccharine all your teeth will fall out and you’ll get the boke.
“Which, incidentally, is also the name of the enemy the Doctor will be fighting.”
Fans of the show are already eagerly anticipating their annual tradition of explaining why it wasn’t so bad to anyone who’ll listen on Boxing Day.