Theon Greyjoy warns UK government against using EU nationals as “negotiating cards”

author avatar by 8 years ago

Iron Islands aristocrat Theon Greyjoy has warned the UK government against using EU nationals as bargaining chips during negotiations over the future relationship between the UK and the EU.

Greyjoy’s intervention comes after Liam Fox, speaking at a Tory conference fringe event last Tuesday, described EU nationals living in the UK as one of the country’s “main cards” in forthcoming negotiations with the remaining EU member states.

Greyjoy explained, “I was used as a so-called ‘bargaining card’ by Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell when he took me as his ward after crushing my father Balon Greyjoy’s failed rebellion against the Iron Throne.

“I’m sure it seemed like a prudent policy at the time,” he continued, “but over the years my resentment festered, and as soon as I had the chance I betrayed my adopted brother Lord Robb Stark and captured his ancestral home in a bloody coup.

“Which just goes to show how these things can blow up in your face,” he added.

According to the ONS there are around 3.3 million EU nationals currently living in the UK, and Theon Greyjoy had a word of warning for them too.

“If you are from the EU and you have any concerns about the future, I would advise you against plotting or intriguing of any kind,” he said.

“Well, if you want to avoid being tortured and castrated that is!”