Thursday 6 October 2016 by Dan Sweryt

‘Budgie Nine’ strippers guilty of making Formula 1 more interesting

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The Australian ‘Budgie Nine’ who stripped down at the Malaysian Formula 1 Grand Prix have been found ‘very guilty’ of making the sport much more interesting.

The men were detained after posing in very small swimwear decorated with the Malaysian flag after someone drove a car a bit better than some other people.

‘Budgie 1’ Simon Williams said, “We unreservedly apologise to the fans and viewers, many of whom were unused to these, or indeed any, levels of excitement. I believe our ill-advised venture caused many cardiology units to go into overdrive.

“We have literally no defence. We made the sport much, much more interesting and, in hindsight, we realise that is completely unacceptable.

“Bernie Ecclestone and the team have spent years doing their utmost to make the sport as boring and uneventful as possible and it’s testament to them that they’ve done such a sterling job.

F1 Superfan Eleanor Gay said, “This was an utter disgrace. I was simply hoping to have a nice time watching the cars go around and around and around in the same order they usually do and then watch Lewis Hamilton complain regardless of him winning or not winning and, instead, I get shenanigans!

“I can’t wait for next season to be honest, where the teams have finally agreed to make the whole thing terminally tedious by banning colour and making the whole thing shades of grey.

“And not a moment too soon!”

When asked for comment, former champion Sebastian Vettel said nothing, and merely stared into the distance as though the past were far, far over the horizon.

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