Disney to release new Star Wars film every twenty minutes

author avatar by 8 years ago

The Walt Disney Corporation has confirmed their Star Wars release schedule to 2020, with a new film booked for release every 20 minutes for the next four years.

Disney said the new schedule ‘fills the gaps’ in releases because Star Wars episodes 8 & 9 and a Han Solo film just aren’t enough to pay for that new beach condo in the Bahamas satisfy fans.

The schedule is set to kick off with Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, followed within the hour by Mace Windu: Champion of the Force, Bossk – A Bounty Hunter’s Tale and a romantic comedy called TK-421, Trooper in Love.

“Casting Jim Carrey as Trooper TK-421 in a series of hilarious romantic misadventures is likely to be the most popular move we’ve made in Star Wars since the introduction of Jar-Jar Binks,” we were told.

“We had asked Adam Sandler but he said he was too busy, which is a first.”

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The studio has confirmed films about everyone you can think of, including Yoda, an origin story for the Wampa monster, and a tragic tale of family conflict seen through the eyes of that droid that does nothing but waddle around going “Doink”.

Disney CEO Kathleen Kennedy told reporters that her objective was to support fans in their love of Star Wars and hoped they’d take the new additions to the universe to their hearts, although she was interrupted by Scrooge McDuck skiing past her on the gigantic pile of money.