I have the constitution to be President, says Trump. And the strength, intelligence, wisdom and dexterity

author avatar by 6 years ago

Donald Trump has told the nation he is a ‘fighter’ – a claim his opponents agree with as he was never going to be a Wizard or Cleric with stats that low.

Speaking during his first debate with Hillary Clinton, Trump rejected claims he lacks the Stamina for Presidency, saying he gets +2 hit points a level and a bonus to saves vs. poison.

People who have met Trump in person confirm it is very unlikely he possesses the requirements for Bard or Sorcerer either.

The Presidential hopeful became a fighter after his father gave him 200 gold pieces to buy a 10′ pole, 200 torches and a donkey, but he bought into a condo development in Rhode Island instead after getting a note from the local healer excusing him from doing battle with a cave full of goblins.

Accusing Hillary Clinton of lacking experience points, Trump insisted she’d only got as far as she had due to being the DM’s girlfriend for most of the late 1990s.

Responding to suggestions that he is too close to foreign powers, the Republican hopeful said that he had some great, great friends in Menzoberranzan but denied they were in any way funding his campaign.

Despite calls for him to do so, Trump has thus far refused to release his character sheet to the other players – instead pledging he will do so when the DM has finished looking it over.

“It’s a great character sheet, the best,” he told reporters.

“I rolled so many natural 18s I got sick of rolling natural 18s.”

He went on to insist that there were a few surprises to be had when he finally shows everyone his sheet.

“If I’m just a fighter, how come I’ve got such a great sneak attack?” he asked with a wink.