Boris Johnson demands jelly and ice-cream at crucial UN meeting on Syria

author avatar by 7 years ago

Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has made Britain’s presence felt at a UN summit on Syria by stridently demanding jelly and ice-cream.

“It was high drama, that’s for sure,” said a delegate.

“You had the Russians flat out denying involvement in air-strikes on aid convoys, and John Kerry was just getting in their face, refusing to accept what he considered to be flat-out lies.

“Then all of a sudden there was this violent banging on the table.

“The room fell silent, and everyone looked towards the British delegate, he looked a little startled for a moment but then regained his composure and calmly, but with genuine menace, he said ‘where, in the name of God and Mammon, is the jelly and ice-cream?’”

The Foreign Secretary declared himself pleased to have made his stand.

“That’s the bally problem with these jolly foreigner types; can’t be trusted,” he said while combing a small finch out of his hair

“They invite you over for a party, and there’s all this endless jawing on about all sorts of whatnot, and if you don’t watch out, you don’t end up with any jelly and ice-cream at all.”

It is understood that meeting went on for several hours, after which Mr Johnson was brought some jelly and ice-cream in the UN canteen.