Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has made Britain’s presence felt at a UN summit on Syria by stridently demanding jelly and ice-cream.
“It was high drama, that’s for sure,” said a delegate.
“You had the Russians flat out denying involvement in air-strikes on aid convoys, and John Kerry was just getting in their face, refusing to accept what he considered to be flat-out lies.
“Then all of a sudden there was this violent banging on the table.
“The room fell silent, and everyone looked towards the British delegate, he looked a little startled for a moment but then regained his composure and calmly, but with genuine menace, he said ‘where, in the name of God and Mammon, is the jelly and ice-cream?’”
The Foreign Secretary declared himself pleased to have made his stand.
“That’s the bally problem with these jolly foreigner types; can’t be trusted,” he said while combing a small finch out of his hair
“They invite you over for a party, and there’s all this endless jawing on about all sorts of whatnot, and if you don’t watch out, you don’t end up with any jelly and ice-cream at all.”
It is understood that meeting went on for several hours, after which Mr Johnson was brought some jelly and ice-cream in the UN canteen.