Brad Pitt profile appears on

author avatar by 7 years ago

A profile for the soon to be divorced Hollywood megastar Brad Pitt has appeared on popular dating site

The profile, which lists his interests as ‘chilling on the sofa with a nice glass of wine, beard maintenance, and confounding expectations by playing flawed characters in smaller films rather than simply taking traditional leading man style roles,’ was created overnight.

The actor’s close friend Chuck Williams has revealed that Mr Pitt ‘just wants to get back on the horse as soon as possible.’

“Brad’s not getting any younger,” said Mr Williams.

“It’s tricky for a middle-aged guy to meet women, and Brad doesn’t want to be left on the shelf.”

Although there is no suggestion that the profile was placed on before estranged wife Angelina Jolie announced the divorce, it does appear to be very well prepared.

“Yeah, I think Brad knew the writing was on the wall, they’d been bickering for months. It came to a head on Sunday evening when Brad wanted to watch the game, but Angelina wanted to watch Poldark.”

“Everything just came out – he thought Unbroken was shit and that her work with the UN was superficial at best, and she thought his beard made him look like an inbred Amish farmer.

“There was no coming back from that.”

It is expected that Mr Pitt will move out of the couple’s Beverly Hills mansion into a grim bedsit, and will spend Saturday afternoons with the kids in the local McDonalds, looking wistfully out the window with watery eyes.