Trump campaign energised by new opportunity to be unpleasant to Muslims

author avatar by 8 years ago

With a few short weeks left until the US election, the Donald Trump campaign is fizzing with energy after the New York bombing gave them a new opportunity to be racist and ignorant about Muslims.

“It’s fantastic, everyone’s just buzzing,” said Trump campaign manager Jeremy Satan.

“We’ve got loads of ideas – Muslims should all live in holes, Muslims are cannibals, Muslims think that all Americans are gay.

“These are exactly the sort of statements that appeal to the kind of bog-ignorant brain donors who think that a Donald Trump presidency would be a good thing.”

It is fair to say that the campaign suffered a setback in their initial response to news that a Muslim set the New York bomb when a visibly tumescent Trump appeared on stage in Michigan shaking his tiny hands and frothing at the mouth while shouting ‘Muslims’ in a high-pitched, keening voice.

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“Yeah, the candidate was pretty over-excited there,” continued Mr Satan.

“But we’re past that now; we think we’ve got a week or two of being racist and unpleasant about Muslims at the expense of the New York attack and, naturally, accusing Clinton of being a pussy for not being racist and unpleasant about Muslims.

“Goddamn, I love high-minded political debate in modern America.”

Mr Trump is expected to make an appearance in Houston later today to give a speech entitled ‘Why I think that all Muslims should go and live on the moon by Donald J Trump aged 70 and a half.’

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