Wild celebrations as George Osborne becomes chair of ‘Northern Powerhouse’ think tank

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The entire population of Northern England have poured out onto the streets in wild celebration after it was announced that George Osborne will chair a think tank aimed at taking forward his “Northern Powerhouse” plan.

Lancastrians, Yorkshiremen and the rest of them are delighted that Mr Osborne will be focusing his political energies on creating an economy in the north that rivals London.

“The north of England hadn’t had its own meaningless soundbite until George Osborne came along,” enthused northerner Simon Williamsbottom.

“There was the Big Society, but the Northern Powerhouse is something we can really call our own.

“Everywhere you go, people are dancing and hugging each other. It’s a real carnival atmosphere.”

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People in the Midlands have also started putting up bunting after Theresa May said she wanted to make the area an “engine for growth”.

“Wow, a growth engine,” said Noddy Holder from Slade.

“It’s Chriiiiistmaaaaas!”

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