“Being passionate once in a year sounds about right” admits Mrs Corbyn

author avatar by 8 years ago

After Jeremy Corbyn was congratulated for finally showing some passion during yesterday’s Prime Minister’s Question, Mrs Corbyn admitted once a year is about par for the course.

Mrs Corbyn explained that Jeremy spends most of the year shuffling around in a beige cardigan and slippers, tending to his rhubarb at the allotments and playing at the local bridge club.

“When this labour leadership thingy came along – which by the looks of it hasn’t had much attention paid to it either – there was just no time left for me,” she ruefully explained.

“I’ve tried everything to get the passion back,” she went on “I even put up a sex swing in the garage, ensuring that it only swings to the far left.”

After Mrs Corbyn’s attempts had failed the couple decided to see a sex therapist, who suggested the Corbyn’s find a key phrase that would get Jeremy in the mood.

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“He is passionate about grammar schools as you know,” continued Mrs Corbyn.

“So yesterday after he arrived home from Prime Minister’s Questions, I dressed up in my St. Trinian’s outfit and whispered our trigger phrase in his ear – ‘we need more Grammar Schools’ – and my God did I get it.

“He was like Black Rod hammering at the chamber door, although he had more than three knocks in him,” she winked.

“Just once a year mind, neither of us could do it again,” she said resting on a rubber ring.

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