Some utter dick has messed with the best thing on earth.
Simon Williams, 49, owns the rights to The Great British Bake-Off and has sold it to Channel 4 for eleventy billion pounds.
Mel and Sue are not part of the deal and there’s yet to be confirmation for Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry, which just sounds fucking awful.
“Look, I get that I’m inviting a very polite riot,” said Williams.
“But I prefer money to cake. I can’t buy nice things with cake. So, yes, I am butchering a national institution in order to get more money.
“If that makes me some kind of monster, then so be it.”
Bake-Off fan, Elizabeth King, said, “He is a monster, and he deserves to be shot while Paul Hollywood observes and then critiques on how good the shot was.
“Then Mel and Sue could say something saucy like ‘oh my, what a big hole!’ while Mary Berry stands there being God.”
Breaking into sobs, King begged, “please leave it alone.”