Mel and Sue to leave bake off after punching a producer

author avatar by 8 years ago

Bake Off Presenters Mel and Sue are to leave the show after a ‘fracas’ with a producer, according to reports this morning.

Trouble flared after the pair arrived at their hotel after a late day of filming, only to find there was no lemon drizzle cake available.

Witnesses describe tempers fraying as the pair subjected a show runner to a barrage of bakery-themed innuendo, including repeated use of the words ‘hot’, ‘moist’, and ‘sticky’.

“Mel was furious”, we were told. “She said to the poor guy ‘stick your finger in this and taste the juicy filling, pal’, which seemed harsh to me.”

Matters escalated after Sue seized a baguette and subjected the producer to something unspeakable, which programme-makers described as ‘sadly unacceptable.’

“After discussion it’s ‘buns away’ for Mel and Sue,” a joint statement announced.

“We hoped to cook something up, but couldn’t find a good raison to keep them so in the end it proved a half-baked idea.

“Despite their long custardy of the show, Mel and Sue’s behaviour was eggs-cessively tart and it’s time they were scone.”

In a terse statement, Mary Berry said, “Frankly Madeira, I don’t give a damn.”

Despite recent changes to the show, the production company say they hope to keep profit-a-rolling in.

In the wake of the news, hundreds and thousands of viewers have announced their intention to turnover.