Bake Off referendum ‘definitely in the public interest’, says Prime Minister

author avatar by 8 years ago

Prime Minister Theresa May, who herself likes a bit of drizzle on her lips, has suggested that a Bake Off Referendum is clearly in the public interest. 

Her statement read that ‘this is a matter of great importance to the nation, as prime minister I have to address the concerns of an outraged British electorate who are grieving the loss of their favourite show.’

Bake Off leaping to the top of the government’s priority list has left some political pundits puzzled.

Sceptics say this is May spending time on an easy win to secure a sure fire 12 million votes at the next general election,

While a cabinet source argued that GBBO was critical national infrastructure that needed to be kept in place, adding, “dismantling it would cause severe social instability,

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“And who needs further social and economic instability with Brexit still going strong”.

Government spokesperson, Simon Williams, told us, “We tried to distract people from talking about Brexit, first we said the Houses of Parliament was falling down, then we pretended a report had accidentally been photographed about grammar schools, then more HS2 ‘leaks’.

“None of it worked, people still talked about Brexit – but a Bake Off Referendum? This is the one that can distract the entire nation; it’s a gift from God”.

Early polls have asked the public simply, “would you like GBBO in the BBC’ or ‘out of the BBC’.”

95% of the public than asked “But does an ‘out’ vote mean you want GBBO out of Channel 4, or does it mean you don’t agree with it leaving the BBC?”

“It’s the same thing all over again” explained one pollster.

“It can be confusing, so please choose carefully.”

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