MP cull won’t stop spread of unelected peers, warn experts

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A bid to improve democracy by changing constituency boundaries and culling the number of MPs will not stop the spread of unelected peers, experts have warned today.

MP welfare groups, such as the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority, are opposed to what they feel is the unnecessary eradication of parliamentarians.

“If the Boundary Commission wants to improve democracy then carrying out a cull of MPs is not the answer,” said MP expert Travis Walden-Smythe.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say the proposed cull is driven by nothing more than a thirst for blood – well, the blood of MPs, anyway.”

Voter Simon Williams told us, “A cull of MPs you say? How does one sign up for such a thing? I know in modern society we’re supposed to promote humane culling, but wooden bats are still humane, right?

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“I mean, one swift whack to the back of the head to render them unconscious, then they’d hardly feel the hundreds of subsequent blows that ultimately mash their bodies into a bloody pulp.”

Walden-Smythe concluded, “Democracy has become infected by a sense of entitlement, and the best way to stop that is to decontaminate the House of Lords.”