Monday 12 September 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Bill Clinton offers to rub ‘Special Cream’ on Hillary’s chest for 109th time

Bill Clinton helping Hillary recover with his special cream

Hillary Clinton’s pneumonia is doing nothing to stop her husband’s rampant libido.

The Presidential candidate pulled out (“fnarr”- Bill Clinton) of a planned trip to California due to the illness, prompting many to speculate as to whether she will be healthy enough to continue her campaign.

“Not Bill though,” sighed campaign spokesman, Chuck Williams.

“He’s too busy dressing up as a doctor and saying ‘somebody needs a check-up’.

“Usually it’s funny, but right now it’s just unhelpful. Especially when he does it with his dick out claiming to have ‘run out of tongue depressors, now say ah’, the horny cad.”

Hillary’s assistant, Elizabeth King, said, “at least Bill’s leaving me alone while this goes on.

“I feel so bad for Hillary. Having pneumonia is bad enough without your husband rubbing your tits the whole time in an apparent effort to clear the mucus.

“I mean he could at least wait until she finished her interview with CNN.”

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