Thursday 8 September 2016 by Gary Stanton

Aleppo are about to launch the iPhone 7, claims US presidential candidate

Aleppo Apple iPhone 7 Gary Johnson

Libertarian US presidential candidate, Gary Johnson, has backed Aleppo to launch the forthcoming iPhone 7 bang on time, it has emerged.

The 63-year-old geopolitical wizard has total faith that the war-torn Syrian city will deliver the goods despite sustained aerial bombardment by the bastard Assad.

“Yeah, Aleppo – they’re the guys that make the iPhone,” Johnson confidently asserted in front of a stunned news crew.

Since the outbreak of the Syrian civil war in 2011, Aleppo has apparently been a magnet for IT professionals looking to make a fast buck and improve their skill-sets.

“I guess it’s like their Silicon Valley or somethun,” Johnson added.

When shown footage of bombed-out hospitals and children choking on mustard gas, Johnson declared that it really put the capabilities of the iPhone 6s into perspective.

Neutral observers now believe the US presidential race has reached maximum stupid and can only get better from here on in.

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