Woman has more fulfilling relationship with Pumpkin Spice Latte than with her boyfriend

author avatar by 6 years ago

Pumpkin Spice Latte provides considerably more physical and emotional support than her own boyfriend, local woman Simone Williams has confirmed.

Simone describes the drink as consistently warm, reassuring and there when she needs it, which is more than can be said for Significant Other Simon.

“It’s very filling too”, she added with a satisfied, dreamy air.

Warming to her theme, Simone added that a large Pumpkin Spice Latte has never tried to share itself with her mates when she isn’t looking, unlike some people she might mention.

When told that her favourite seasonal drink is only available for short periods every year, Simone gave a guffaw and said that still made it better than Simon.

Other things that are better at providing comfort and support include Prosecco, Cafe Noir Biscuits, and something she mumbled but sounded a bit like ‘habit’.

When asked, Simon said he didn’t get the obsession with the sickly sweet drink, and that he preferred coffee.

“I like my coffee the way I like my women”, he told us.

“Available at 3am from motorway service stations.”