Tuesday 6 September 2016 by Gary Stanton

Brexiters celebrate as migrant Swallows f*ck off back to Africa

Brexit migrant birds

Brexiters are in a celebratory mood this morning as hordes of migrant swallows f*cked off back to Bongo Bongo land for the winter.

Racist ornithologists have accused the smallish, red-throated birds of building their nests in spaces reserved for indigenous species like the Chaffinch and the White Anglo Saxon Song Thrush.

Brexiter and Twitcher, Simon Williams, said, “When swallows migrate from Africa, they are not sending their best.

“They are sending birds that have lots of problems, and they are bringing those problems to us. They are bringing drugs, and bringing crime and their rapists.

“Not to mention gun runners and car thieves.”

Williams insists the problem is not confined to swallows, but extends to other summer visitors who use this island to bring up their children like swifts, chiffchaffs and house martins.

Last night Williams received crucial backing from Nigel Farage who favours a points-based system to keep the dark ones out.

Farage said, “These birds claim to be flying in from Africa, but they could be flying in from anywhere including Islamic State. Those ones don’t sing as much.”

Williams added, “One swallow doth not a summer make, but it doth causeth increasing resentment among those on housing waiting lists.”

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