Radioactive wild boar in Fukushima exclusion zone ‘turning into orcs’, warn scientists

author avatar by 6 years ago

A population of wild boar irradiated by the Fukushima disaster present a clear danger of turning into orcs, scientists have warned.

The boar have been left breeding uncontrollably in the exclusion zone since the disaster, and radiation in the environment and their food is resulting in them growing more aggressive, turning green and using discarded lumps of metal to create makeshift armour.

Orcs are described as ‘brutish, aggressive, repulsive and generally malevolent’, which means scientists are concerned the radioactive boar might mutate and take over the world like a piggy Planet of the Apes.

Several instances of the boar sitting around drinking Boddingtons Bitter and Carling and talking about Leicester’s chances this season have already been reported.

“We’ve already seen boar gaining both extra hit dice and attack bonuses,” said the head of the Fukushima research group, Simon Williams.

“With their snouty faces and tusks we think it’s only a matter of time before they start standing upright and hitting each other with clubs.

“There’s a real danger that the exclusion zone might start to resemble a Saturday night in Dudley, only radioactive.”