Thursday 25 August 2016 by Mike Ryder

Witness claims Jeremy Corbyn uses sit down toilet when urinals are available

Jeremy Corbyn uses toilet cubicles even when urinals are free

In what continues to be a bad week for the embattled labour leader, allegations have emerged that Jeremy Corbyn once sat down in a toilet cubicle despite only having a wee and urinals being available.

Conservative MP Simon Williams-Smythe claims he saw the leader opposition in a House of Commons water closet.

“He came in and made straight for the cubicle, I didn’t think anything of it, but he was in there for a maximum of a minute.

“That’s nowhere near long enough to rid one’s self of the rich, high fibre, tax payer funded food they serve at Westminster.”

The Conservative backbencher, who is MP for Tottingham-Winstanley in Oxfordshire continued: “It was very strange behaviour as most MPs love standing up and taking the piss, he must have something to hide.

“Which we definitely don’t, why else would we be spending so much time making everyone focus on frivolous nonsense?”

The accusations were not immediately denied by the Corbyn camp. Instead, a spokesperson told us, “As an ardent supporter of female equality; Jeremy regularly takes sit down wees as an act of solidarity.”

Meanwhile, Jeremy Corbyn’s rival in the leadership contest, Owen Smith tweeted a photo of himself defecating in a bush in an attempt to show how in touch he is with the average working class Labour member.

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