Fat old man in micro-thong offended by burkini

author avatar by 7 years ago

An obese old man using a postage stamp-sized strip of material to ‘hide’ his genitals has taken offence at a woman wearing a burkini.

Harold Williams, 67, explained that when at the beach he should be free to enjoy himself while basting in oil without looking at things he doesn’t like.

He explained, “My Dad didn’t fight in the war so that women could wear what they want to when they’re at the beach.

“The burkini is an affront to the freedoms I believe in, and women shouldn’t be free to wear them just because they feel like it.

“If people were free to do what they like, and wear what they want, where would we be? Probably communist China, that’s where.

“These Burkhini abominations are an affront to my freedom to only see things that I agree with, and I think someone needs to put a stop to it.”

Williams then bent over to pick up his book, to the audible gasps of other beachgoers in his vicinity, while revealing that his nose isn’t the only orifice that has started sprouting massive amounts of hair.

As mothers covered the eyes of their young children, Williams continued, “I just think that if you’re going to come to the beach, you should be respectful to the other beachgoers with what you choose wear.

“Nobody wants to see a woman covered head to toe in one of those burkinis, do they.  Now, would you mind rubbing some more of that baby oil into my back?”