British politics returns to inane normality

author avatar by 8 years ago

After months of wild and exciting fluctuations, British politics has returned to commonplace mediocrity with an argument about trains.

The earthquake which followed the Brexit vote, which threatened to tear the fabric of British politics apart, have subsided to the extent where national debate over whether you can get a seat in standard class or whether you should upgrade seems to be of both pressing importance and entertainment.

The question of whether the leader of Her Majesty’s loyal opposition told a minor porky about getting a seat on a train in order to make a political point has dominated the last 24 hours of the news cycle, meaning the government can get on with whatever it’s doing without anyone taking all that much notice.

Traingate, as it has come to be known, has raised questions about the leader of the oppositions competence for government, as the absolute best outcome for him is that he didn’t realise that it’s completely normal and legitimate to sit in an empty reserved seat within eight microseconds seconds of the train pulling out of the station.

“There are two standard, go-to arguments in British politics, and that’s the NHS and trains”,  Newsthump political editor Simon Williams told us.

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When people are talking about those, you can be sure there’s either sod-all actually interesting happening, or the opposition are flailing about with all the dignity and decorum of an octopus trying to shag some bagpipes so they can’t change the debate.

“Either of which is business as usual in British politics.”