Virgin trains to have more seats than Labour by 2020

author avatar by 7 years ago

Virgin Rail has confirmed it will have more seats than the Labour Party by the end of the decade.

After being criticised by the Labour leader for running ‘ram-packed’ services, Virgin supremo Richard Branson dismissed the complaints and pledged that his train company will have plenty more seats than the opposition party in pretty short order.

“You can take that whichever way you like,” he added.

“But either way, I think we can be sure that Jeremy Corbyn won’t have one of them,” he added.

The Labour Party currently has 258 seats, and when asked how Virgin will ensure they have more seats than them, Branson simply replied ‘Wait’.

The Labour leader had been filmed sitting on the floor of a train to make a point about overcrowding on the rail network, but Virgin have rebutted the claim insisting that the train had plenty of available seats and described the move as a ‘publicity stunt’.

Corbyn has pledged to make trains both cheaper and emptier, and followers insist this is perfectly possible in the same manner that he made five loaves and two small fish feed five thousand hungry people.

A Virgin spokesman told us that when it comes to making promises about trains everyone knows can’t be kept, Jeremy Corbyn makes them look like a bunch of amateurs.

“Don’t forget”, they added. “For £25 you can reserve your place up to three months in advance, which is a better deal than you get with Labour membership.”