Jeremy Corbyn ‘trying too hard’ to hide Byker Grove obsession

author avatar by 7 years ago

Jeremy Corbyn is raising suspicions in the media after he pretended not to recognise Ant and Dec in an attempt to keep his Byker Grove obsession a secret.

Corbyn has every episode of the teen drama on VHS, and regularly watches old episodes when trying to relax after a hard day being told he’s crap.

A Labour insider told us, “Of course he knows who Ant and Dec are, but he was probably terrified that if he squealed like a girl when he was shown their picture you’d all know how he felt about their first TV show.

“He had to put his hands in his pockets to stop himself reaching out to touch their faces.

“If they’d come out in person I guarantee Jeremy would have completely lost his shit, right there in front of everyone.”

Our source went on to reveal that Corbyn’s Byker Grove obsession dates back to the show’s first transmission back in 1989 when Jeremy was supporting a local project to build a new youth club in his constituency.

What started as research quickly became an addiction.

They went on, “I remember when PJ was blinded in that paintballing accident, Jeremy missed a whole week of parliament.

“Of course, he blamed it on the flu when he came back, but he would well up if anyone so much as mentioned how hard it was going to be for PJ, or how his best mate Duncan had promised to always be there for him.

“With all this fuss in the press, I bet he’s at home right now trying to cheer himself up by watching his favourite episode.

“It’s the one where Noddy Fishwick kissed Gary Hendrix, obviously.”