Hollywood screenwriters announce they’ve finished writing the script to Suicide Squad

author avatar by 7 years ago

Screenwriters in Hollywood have today proudly announced they’ve finished the script for Suicide Squad a mere four days after it was released.

The finished script is understood to be ‘lighthearted fun’ with solid characterisation, no plot holes and doesn’t read like it’s two films which have been hammered together one rainy afternoon.

Writers told reporters that they’d sent producers a variety of scripts over the last 18 months which varied from action comedy to a dark and gritty movie which ‘took itself way too seriously’, and it was a good thing that moviemakers hadn’t decided to make some kind of weird mishmash of both.

Scriptwriter Simon Williams, who has spent the last year hammering at a typewriter in a secluded beach hut, told us that it took forever for him to nail down an evenly toned, well-paced film but he thinks fans will be glad the studio gave him the time to really get it finished.

“You wouldn’t believe the things what were in early drafts”, he told us.

“Some characters were introduced two or three times, while others just showed up without explanation.

“And we had this weird idea where we’d make the Joker a slightly annoying crystal meth tweaker rather than a full-blown agent of chaos.

“Whoo, I’m glad we threw that out early in the process. Who knows how wrong it could have gone?

“One thing I really respect the studio for is giving us the time to really produce a stand-out work of entertainment, rather than rush some formless and incoherent mashup of random ideas to meet an arbitrary marketing schedule.”

Upon being shown the latest issue of the Hollywood Reporter, Williams then broke down and cried.