The Bank of England has cut interest rates because they’re a pack of ninnies in need of a safe place.
The so-called “experts” made the decision amidst an apparently worsening economy, which probably isn’t even a real thing and has just been made up to scare sheeple like you.
“Bunch of scaredy-cats,” scoffed Simon Williams, a keen Brexiteer.
“I can still afford a pint, and The Sun is still for sale at a very reasonable price, so I really don’t see what all this pant-wetting is about.
“I don’t really think the interest rate has gone down. I’m still very interested in the news, so there.”
Bank of England spokesperson, Elizabeth King, said, “We’re all rather frightened, I must admit.
“But it’s the same sort of fear you’d have if a massive boulder being pushed by angry wasps was rolling toward you; yes it’s a fear, but it’s a very much justified fear of what is definitely happening right at that moment.”