Women should be in the kitchen, says man who lives in mum’s basement

author avatar by 7 years ago

A man who lives in his parent’s basement has insisted women should be in the kitchen.

Simon Williams, 38, made the statement in a succession of tweets at 3:30am in between cans of Mountain Dew as his Steam connection was down.

Simon, who has made a real go of his life, has thus far inexplicably failed to find a long-term partner who meets his exacting standards.

Women worldwide are shocked by his pronouncement but reckon they’ll cope.

“I’m just saying that the man should be in charge of his own home,” Simon told us from the single room under his parents home that he’s currently sharing with the boiler.

“He provides that, and the woman provides him with womanly things like cooking and cleaning and regular sex.

“I tell you, one of these days I’m going to find me a woman like that and make her happy once I’ve moved into her place.

Simon added that he hopes to meet a girl when he and his friends go to the pub for his 39th birthday next week, just like he’s hoped every year.