Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to hope everything sorts itself out

author avatar by 7 years ago

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has laid out plans for a new initiative to hope that everything sorts itself out.

“The country finds itself in the direst of straits; impending Brexit, a right wing Tory Government, financial ruin,” said Mr Corbyn yesterday to a gathering of his disciples.

“So what the Labour party needs is a bold, visionary plan based on the good solid principles of hoping everything sorts itself out.”

Mr Corbyn promised that he, personally, will be doing everything he can to hope that everything sorts itself across all sections of society.

“There are places that have been left behind; inner-city estates crippled by high unemployment, towns decimated by the post-industrial malaise, rural communities that are simply dying off.

“I will personally visit all these places to meet the real people at the heart of this issue and to hope, with them, that everything sorts itself out.

“I’ll even bring a flask of tea so that they don’t have to waste a teabag.”

Labour supporters seem energised by the plan.

“Hoping everything sorts itself out?” said Simon Williams a lifelong Labour voter.

“Well, it’s just a load of empty rhetoric that offers no practical help to anyone and shows that, yet again, the party is incapable of developing any coherent policies to oppose a Tory Government.

“But it’s still better than anything we’ve come up with in the last six years, so I’m on board.”