I’ll only ask Russia to do my dirty work when constitution says I can’t do it myself, promises Trump

author avatar by 8 years ago

Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has today reassured voters that he will only ask Russia to step in and break the law on US soil when he’s not able to do it himself due to the ‘pesky constitution’.

Trump publicly asked Russia and China to try and get their hands on 33,000 private emails of presidential rival Hillary Clinton, after lawyers said he couldn’t hack into them himself.

“Listen, I know hackers. I know the best hackers. And inviting a foreign government to hack the private emails of a serving US government official is only illegal because our stupid laws make it illegal,” Trump told reporters to rapturous applause.

“I can promise the American people that I will never infringe on their rights by asking someone like Russia or China to break US laws, unless I’m unable to do it myself for legal reasons.

“I know you think it sounds bad, but it’s not, it’s great. I’m going to make America great again by getting the biggest threats to our national security to break our laws, here in our country.”

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Trump supporters have welcomed the pledge, insisting that straight-talking Trump is just what this country needs.

Texas resident Chuck Williams told us, “We’re sick of career politicians lying to our face, so it’s nice to hear a guy stand up in front of the cameras and explain in great detail precisely how he’s going to break the law and infringe the rights of an American citizens.

“Trump is a man of his word, and so when he says he’ll get Russia to do his dirty work for him whenever the liberal legal system makes things hard for him, I believe him.

“Vote Trump!”

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