Star Wars firm admits guilt over Harrison Ford lightsaber stabbing

author avatar by 7 years ago

A production company behind Star Wars has pleaded guilty to two criminal charges after actor Harrison Ford had a lightsaber plunged deep into his chest while on set.

The 74-year-old had many of his internal organs eviscerated after the tube of white-hot plasma was pushed right through him by fellow actor, Adam Driver.

Foodles Production (UK) Limited, a subsidiary of Disney, admitted two of four criminal charges, including ‘incorrect configuration of a Jedi weapon’.

Though Harrison is expected to make a full physical recovery, experts say the mental scars of having what you thought was a prop burn a hole through the centre of your body mass could be with him forever.

As one Disney executive explained, “The smell of your own flesh burning, the excruciating pain, falling back into a massive pit when it was supposed to be the stuntman doing that bit – I bet it’s all like a horrible nightmare.

“Witnesses at the scene claim they just thought Mr Ford was doing some exceptional acting, what with all the screaming. But it turns out they’d used a real lightsaber instead of a prop, and had literally burned a hole right through him.

A spokesperson for Mr Ford said he was pleased the case will soon be over, and he would appreciate it if everyone could stop making the ‘vmmm vmmm’ noises whenever he walks past.