God demands Rock and Roll back

author avatar by 8 years ago

Forty years after giving Rock and Roll to you, God has repossessed it citing bad faith on the part of humanity.

God, who put Rock and Roll in the heart of everyone, said that humanity should now be living in a world of peace and harmony united by the music of Wyld Stallyns but instead we had ‘fucked it all up’.

Visibly agitated as He made his announcement in a voice of seven thunders at a press conference, The Lord condemned humanity’s failure to uphold their side of the bargain and cited Skrillex and Katy Perry as literally damning evidence.

“JUSTIN FUCKING BIEBER”, He added, before raining a fiery tempest upon Canada.

“I even sent you my only son, Ronnie James Dios”, he added sadly. “But do you listen to Holy Diver? You do not.”

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Jehovah went on to say that he sent all mankind a Rainbow to seal the bargain, but Ritchie Blackmore just isn’t getting enough airplay in His opinion.

Instead, humanity has fallen short of His expectations and worships instead at the altar of a false God Cowell.

When reminded that Axl Rose isn’t making too much of a cockup of the current ACDC tour, God’s countenanced softened.

“Well that’s a fucking miracle,” He said.

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