Turkey just arresting everyone now

author avatar by 7 years ago

Turkey has gone on off on a benny when it comes to arresting people, we can report.

In the wake of last week’s coup attempt, the government began a round of arrests of people who were involved, people who were related to or lived near anyone who might have been involved, and people who once looked at the President a bit funny.

However, by Thursday afternoon policy changed to just arresting everyone.

“When we started this we had a bit of an excuse,” government spokesman Simon Williamscu said.

“But then it struck us that if everyone was arrested then there’d be nobody try oppose the President again, and things just went from there. Better safe than sorry.

“You might think this is getting out of hand, but the president has passed a law making thinking that a crime.

“You’re under arrest,” he concluded.

Once police have arrested everyone, they will be expected to turn themselves in, with failure to do so an arrestable offence.

President Erdogan is reported to be delighted with how the cleanup operation is going in the wake of the coup attempt and is planning to build another wing to his palace he and his goat can celebrate in peace.

Contractors building the new wing will be arrested on completion, he announced.