Donald Trump declares war on United States as top threat to American lives revealed to be ‘armed Americans’

author avatar by 7 years ago

America will be ‘safer’ when Donald Trump declares war on the US, after the presidential hopeful revealed that more Americans die at the hands of other Americans than by any other means.

Declaring his stated intention to make America ‘safer’, the New York businessman said that the single biggest threat to American lives, is other gun-toting Americans.

Trump told those gathered at the Republican National Convention, “Every year the number of Americans shot and killed by Americans is nearly four times those killed in the September 11th atrocities – Every. Single. Year – but where is our war on these so-called ‘Americans’?

“Sure, Obama got Bin Laden, eventually, but the real threat was here on our shores all along.

“I will stop at nothing, nothing, until the number of Americans shot and killed by Americans is zero, even if we have to kill every American to do it.

“It will be a great war, the best war, and we’re going to win it!”

Trump was vague on the details of his plan to declare war on the US, and the logistics for a US invasion of the US have left a number of military experts confused, though most agree on the first steps.

As one retired general in the Trump camp explained, “The first step in any military incursion is to limit access to firearms and ammunition, but it seems we’ve got what people are calling a ‘constitutional issue’ with that one.

“How do you fight a force that keeps pointing at a two-hundred-year-old document as justification to keep reloading?”

A spokesperson for National Rifle Association claimed a military response was not needed, telling reporters, “You’re looking at this all wrong, American citizens are simply the best in the world when it comes to killing American citizens!

“Go USA!”