Bookmakers have slashed the odds on England being relegated after the appointment of the perennial survivor, Sam Allardyce as manager.
The man best known for preventing crap teams being relegated is set to guarantee England’s position in the top flight of world football, according to football experts.
FA spokesperson David Davies told reporters, “Sam comes with a breadth of experience in helping rubbish teams be a little bit less rubbish, and that’s just what we need right now. He’s the right man, at the right time, definitely.”
England fan Simon Williams said, “Clearly we need someone to come in, steady the ship, and make sure England don’t get relegated – Sam is obviously the best man to do that.
“People will criticise his CV, but he’s never been relegated from the top flight, and football management CVs don’t get more impressive than that.
“I imagine he’ll have those prima-donna millionaires sweating blood to avoid dropping into the second tier of world football – and good on ‘im.”
Bookmaker Shane Matthews told us, “I’ll give you 20-1 on Sam Allardyce’s England being relegated, with your money back in free bets if they are, how’s that for a deal?
“You’re basically robbing me blind mate.”